"What is the hardest thing about having a sibling with special needs?". I came across this question when preparing for a sibling panel. Most people think that I should have a plethora of choices. They think that getting embarrassed at the supermarket would be the worst, but I have always felt like a movie star. They think that I miss out on hanging out with my friends if I need to watch Robb, or he has a therapist, yet they lack all of the doors Robb has opened up for me. I think people need to understand that having a sibling with special needs is not a hardship, but it is different.
It really has never been hard on me, though, but I have always felt it must be extremely hard on him. He cannot communicate, he gets frustrated often, and this really kills me because I just want him to be happy. Robb can find ways around communication, and he is smart, but I am afraid he will never feel self fulfillment. I always think self fulfillment is essential to happiness. I do not think I will ever be able to fully accept the fact he may never be completely fulfilled in himself. He will probably never get a job, never get married, and always be dependent on other people for the rest of his life.
I just keep reminding myself, though, that my one hundred steps in this world could be his one step, but that one step will probably be even more fulfilling than my thousand steps. What really breaks my heart, and is truly unbearable for me is that he will probably never be able to live up to his full potential. Robb can live a fulfilling life, but I know he can do so much more that the world will let him. It breaks my heart that because people marking him off as a "retard" and moving along keeps him from sharing his full potential with the world. Robb may have a very loving environment, and he is very good about brushing off the haters, but until the world can try a little harder to listen, his voice may only be heard by a few, and trust me. That is a voice needs to be heard. Above autism, above Down Syndrome, but with sight because when you rise above your differences everything becomes clear.
