Listen to my Silence

          Recently my school has done a lot of work to promote "Ally Groups" in which girls from all grades come together to discuss issues in our community. At first, I was optimistic about this, and when it came to my turn to discuss about what I feel silenced by, I explained how I feel silenced when people use the r-word. That came with a reaction of "what" and I responded by explaining the r-word is retarded, and it is extremely offensive when people use it in the special needs community. Someone then responded to me by saying, "my mom says that mental retardation is still a medical term". I was shocked and hurt, and when I went on to respond that the word was not an appropriate term anywhere she said some doctors still use it. The conversation was then dismissed, and I was forced to sit there and listen to a senior discuss her boyfriend for the rest of the meeting. When discussing the situation with some close friends, they to responded with "well is it still a medical term?".

          I have since then looked it up, and it 2010 President Obama signed Rosa's Law which stopped the use of the term for medical use. While I do have satisfaction in knowing that the term is not used anymore, I am still shocked and saddened that someone would try to undermine the offensiveness of the word by saying it is used in a medical field. Honestly, this whole situation has just made me feel alone in a school where people do not respect my family and friends. I know this is not the case and many people have joined me in taking the pledge to end the use of the r-word, but at the same time, I worry people do not truly understand what taking the pledge should mean. Prior to the last event I was with a friend who had taken the pledge with me, her mom, and my mom when her mom said the r-word. I still feel guilty that I did not say anything, but in the moment my mom and I were both in shock. While I do not know the mom well, her daughter has always been super supportive in my work to help end the word, yet she did not even notice it.

          I do understand that many people were just raised thinking the r-word was acceptable, and changing vocabulary is not always easy. That is why I hope to promote awareness on March 31 and throughout the year in my school community and make it clear that using the r-word is hurtful, ignorant, and should no longer by tolerated anywhere.