In a couple of days Robb will turn 18, and my whole family is getting excited...just before writing this I was texting friends about good gifts for Robb and discussing our plan for Robb's New Years Eve Birthday Party! I am especially excited for gift opening because I think I have found Robb the perfect gift--a rainstick. When he was younger he loved the rainstick he had, so I think this will be a pleasant surprise and bring back good memories! Due to Norwegian tradition we will begin the day waking Robb up to a traditional Norwegian song and giving the gifts. Then we will be going to Robb's favorite restaurant (and they sing to him!), then going to a 4D movie, and finally, ending the day with his party and bringing in the New Year.
Every year, the information above stays more or less the same. We always sing and give Robb gifts in the morning, go to his favorite restaurant, have a party...I always take on the almost impossible task of finding the perfect original gift for the most non-materialistic person I know. But this year is different. Not the actual routine, but the significance of his age. Because Robb is turning 18, he becomes a legal adult meaning my parents are unable to do anything from scheduling doctor's appointment to making serious medical decisions for him. Fortunately, we have a court case set up where they can prove they need to remain legal guardians to Robb, but that is two weeks away. Two weeks where my parents cannot make any important decisions for Robb despite the fact that Robb cannot make those decisions himself. I am still struggling to understand why my non-verbal brother who could not communicate his opinion to a total stranger must rely solely on himself for any amount of time because of the mere fact that the earliest court date my parents could get was two weeks after his birthday. Ever since Robb turned 16 my parents have been signing papers, hiring lawyers, and doing all the possible steps necessary to ensure Robb's safety, but still, we must, to a certain extent, live in fear for two weeks.
I know I need to conclude these facts somehow, but I am at a loss. Obviously, I am so excited to celebrate with my brother, but I cannot help feeling angry and frustrated at the system in place. I know I should feel lucky; my parents did get a court date, and Robb will be under their care soon. All this uncertainty will only last a couple more weeks. But the entire process has involved bringing out the worst in Robb...we must keep proving he is "a danger to himself and others." Also, for some sick reason, the fact that we can prove Robb is dangerous, the fact that it is extremely hard for him to communicate and his frustration can cause him to hurt himself, is the reason my parent can get legal guardianship overall. Some people will not get guardianship or many will need to fight much harder to get guardianship, and when they need to help their child the most, they are unable to. I feel like I need to make some uplifting comment about how hopefully things will get better, and the fact that life for people with special needs has improved tremendously over the past decade alone, but for now I just want to let the next two weeks pass as quickly and safely as possible.
